my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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