It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
