spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
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