dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
