He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I pour the whiskey from now on
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
