So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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