My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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