Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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