one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
He kissed a someone with a penis
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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