the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
