This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
