If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Randomize
