so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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