Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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