Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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