I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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