sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
