dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
