well most of my day revolves around power hour
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
