Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
