I should be sponsored by Trojan
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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