her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Life is so much better after having sex.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
