Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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