i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
