so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
