That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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