White coat. Heels.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
