remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
