When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
