i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
