Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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