I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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