I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
and you fell through a lawn chair
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