Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
