I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
