I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
there is puke in my bra ... again
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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