Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize