I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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