i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
