do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
