Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Randomize
