I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
