You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
