My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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