dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
