i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
