White coat. Heels.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize