Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
