he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Duck Duck Cougar?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Mom said you looked used
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
