Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
