He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Do vagina's smell?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
