i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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