I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
