is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Randomize
