dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
