she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Randomize
