I wanna bring you to show and tell
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
