so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Floor bacon is actually really good
The adults are the big ones right?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
