Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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