i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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