I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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