I faked an abortion last night.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
