Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
im about as happy as oj after his trial
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
