It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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